Santa’s Lost List

Coot, Coot-Ette, and all the little Cootlings were in West Texas last week. The prairie wind was blasting as always and we saw a piece of paper flying through the air. We reached up and grabbed it and discovered it was a list that had apparently blown out of Santa’s sleigh as he was flying through the area. As I examined it I discovered that it was a list of Texas Rangers who had left after the 2025 season, along with their wishes for gifts they could use as they moved on.

Bruce Bochy - A recording of the song “I Left My Heart in San Francisco.” He is also hoping there is a bright lamp in his old favorite restaurant so he can show off the nice ring he picked up while he was in Arlington.

Bobby Wilson - A good windbreaker to shield him from the hot air in his new Washington D C home.

Tony Beasley - Plenty of base runners to wave around third base in Pittsburg. He deserves it! Mike Maddox - Patience in dealing with the perennially poor pitching in Anaheim. If that doesn’t work, patients for his new chiropractic clinic specializing in shoulder rubs.

Adolis Garcia - Lots of Phillies on base to pick up RBI’s. Thick skin for when the Philadelphia fans boo. And they will - those people booed Santa Claus.

Marcus Semien - A good start to a new season. Offense to match his defense. If he does… start spreadin’ the news.

Jonah Heim - A job! He has mouths to feed! He has looked worn down the last couple of years. Hope a change of scenery can rejuvenate him.

Sean Armstrong - A lifetime pass to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Why else would he have signed with Cleveland? Hoby Milner, Jacob Webb, Phil Maton - Togetherness. These three all signed with the Cubs. After sitting in the cramped Wrigley bullpens, they may miss the spacious setting they enjoyed in Arlington. Friendly confines indeed!

Maybe Santa will see this list and still be able to grant these wishes for the travelers.

That’s one man’s opinion. What’s yours?